December 2024 Newsletter

The tea is hot which is good because baby it’s cold outside.

December 2024 Newsletter

Welcome to the very first Puppies Gotta Pee newsletter!

Yesterday while I had the entire day off, I worked on recording a brand new episode for my podcast, Puppies Gotta Pee (same name as this humble gossip column you find before your eyes now). While I was getting ready to publish this masterpiece, my recording app refused to do so, gave me some crappy error message and well, I couldn’t post it.

After a few restarts and google searches, I found out my tiny, used, iPad mini 4 was no longer going to make updates because it was… well, old. The recording app wouldn’t upload because I can’t download the latest version of anything.

Sigh.

Without further ado, I’m going to type everything I said on my recording here, not word for word but the best I can. Until I can figure out what I’m going to do next, the written word will have to do.

I’m literally so sad my little noble iPad is outdated.

THE GOSSIP

Chloe bit Spencer on his snout. Chloe bit Spencer on his snout so hard it not only drew blood but one could see the white part.

Before we judge Chloe too harshly, we must first talk about their relationship and what it means that Chloe felt it appropriate to bite Spencer so hard in such a sensitive place.

I’ve said it before, the Spaniels house is under a constant full moon. This can not be understated. Three dogs live here without fosters, plus their human family. Chloe is a foster and has been living here for the past 8 (9?) months now. I don’t think her stay was meant to be this long. She entered the house with health complications and needed surgery to remove a few tumors, all which turned out benign. She’s a Velcro dog. If she’s not under my feet she’s under someone else’s. She’s lovely. A little older (we think?) and has taken on all the bad habits the boys have to offer.

When in Rome.

Spencer is easily overstimulated by this very active household. He comes with a handful of issues to begin with. He’s not unloveable, but I think harder to love. Alfie was the same way. (Dig through and read about him. I did an entire series a few years ago. It was fun.) He is a loving dog. I adore him. When I’ve stayed the night with the Spaniels he’s slept in my arms the entire night. So when I say this next part, it’s going to seem very off putting.

When he is overstimulated, he can attack the other dogs. I mean, he’s a little pissed, right? Sometimes it’s just a mild lunge. Other times it’s a full on attack mode and someone gets hurt. Especially feelings. He’ll usually go after Quincy if there isn’t a female dog around. He doesn’t usually attack Bowie because Bowie’s so much bigger than any of the other dogs who live here.

I know people wonder if he’s medicated. Spencer is on all the meds. I think he’s been to behaviorists (before my time) and they’ve even considered rehousing him as a last resort.

The rule in this house is that no dog is rehoused. Only the fosters are rehoused. The dogs who live here tend to be a last resort due to things that make animals harder to adopt. Age, illness, and behavior are all factors here.

Spencer has been attacking Chloe for the past million months now. Well, last week home girl was fed up and I do mean FED UP with his behavior.

Now, I wasn’t there. The accounts from both the nanny and the owner say Spencer’s attack was so vicious no adult could manage to pull them apart. Someone cut their hand and Chloe bit down on Spencer’s snout with all her might that, well potential damage was done.

They rushed Spencer to the vet ER and there was an 11 hour wait. (Like, what the hell is that?) and decided to head home, take him to the vet the next morning and monitor it though out the night. This is possible because someone in the house is a medical professional.

11 hours? That’s such a long wait for a vet’s office.

Spencer has been attacking a little more politely these days. I highly doubt it’ll last. He’s started his attack tactics already, but they’re way less brutal. Like humans, sometimes animals need to work it out. Dogs included. Gabby comes and stays for the month while the owner’s parents head on vacation. Spencer doesn’t like her either.

Always a full moon in this house.

THE NEW DOGS

I am happy to report that not only is Chance now a regular dog on my schedule, but the other day I met a dog called Opal, and she has joined the ranks on amazing dogs to walk. She’s a pandemic dog, black lab mix, 4 years old. She loves treats (I mean, so do I), her toys, and definitely walks.

We took our first walk today and she’s amazing.

Every walk starts out differently. Some dogs need a few minutes to warm up to me. Some run straight to the leash remembering why I’m there. Opal was the latter, running straight to the leash as if in the know I was there for her walk.

It took me FOR-EV-ER to get her damn harness on and I am grateful for her incredible patience. Judging by her behavior, I don’t think this was the first time someone struggled to get her harness on. Once we did we were on our way.

She doesn’t love the construction of the new house going on across the street (neither do I). She loves social interactions with other dogs and really warmed up to me when I ran into a fellow dog walking friend along the way. She prefers the back streets and alleys to the main roads. Also, she went up all the stairs in front of peoples houses to smell. Door Inspector #351 at your service. And do I call her Opie-Wan-Kenope? Yes. Yes, I do.

THE NANNY

A week ago, Chance’s owner mentioned to me. When I arrived one Saturday early in the morning they thanked me profusely, stating they had an interview with he new nanny that morning and didn’t want her to be overwhelmed by Chance’s welcome, which is a hardy one.

I leashed him up and took him outside. A few steps out the door and I saw a familiar face turn the corner. While Chance and I and this stranger were walking closer, I was able to figure out who this friendly face was.

My nanny friend, Gaby.

“Gaby?!” I said.

She responded, “Hey! What are you doing on this side of town so early?”

I started to put together in my mind why she was up so early and on this side of town too. I asked her if she as being interviewed this morning. She looked at me a little shocked, like “how does she know this?”

Then I explained the family told me they were interviewing a nanny. I have their dog. Suddenly she saw where I was coming from and asked’ “Is this their dog?”

Chance went up to greet her NOT overwhelmingly. I did an about face and immediately grabbed her arm to escort her to the house.

Chance’s owner was going to love this.

You see, his owner and the family all live close by, are all close and it’s a really great community. I know their first walker well, he’s how I got the job. He knows everyone in the family and even told me coming into it that “I would know everyone within no time at all” and he was right.

I love it. It’s like a great big community. Everyone is there for each other and they help with whatever anyone needs. A nice change from what many of us know. And you know what? I think they all actually like each other.

I know for a fact I don’t like everyone in my family.

Gaby is perfect for them. Bringing someone like her into a family like this is perfect.

Chance’s owner was giggling when I brought Gaby into the house. “GABY is the nanny?!”

“You two know each other?!” Was her response.

Dear reader, you must be wondering the same thing. How does a dog walker know a nanny?

Easy. One of my old clients participated in a nanny exchange program. I think it was called “Au Pair in America” or something like that. Au pair number five was one of my favorites. She knew everyone and invited them over to lunch with their kids. Gaby was one of them. She’s an excellent nanny and I’ve known her for years now.

While Chance and I left them to their interview, they probably talked about a lot of things up to and including how she knew me. But you know what? She was hired on the spot. I’m so glad. She’s going to fit right in.

BIG BROTHER

Speaking of Chance, he became a big brother again yesterday morning. Everyone is healthy. I’m not sure that he cares.

HONORABLE MENTION

My cat, Fizzgig, gets an honorable mention in the newsletter. No, he’s not a client but my own animal guardian and a very important part of my life. You see, he’s an excellent mouser. He takes this job, along with bossing me around for breakfast, very seriously.

One very cold night after we had snuggled in bed under layers of blankets. He was snuggled by my head and neck. So cozy.

From nowhere, he woke up, therefore waking me up, and BOLTED out of bed. Few minutes later I heard a ‘Boom! Badda Boom! Bap! Boom!’ And being his human guardian for nearly 12 years, I knew exactly what that sound meant.

It meant he caught a mouse.

I know my place in this house when he catch he’s a mouse. I stay away and let nature take it course. When I am needed, I am summoned, which was approximately two minutes later when Fizzgig brought the mouse into bed.

I’m going to take a short break to allow you to make all the gagging sounds, throw up sounds, Ews and Ickes you feel like making. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

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The moment he brought the mouse into bed, I leapt out of bed and into action. How to pick up a mouse your cat brings to bed at midnight is always a fun story to tell. For me, it’s a trust small size mason jar that does the trick, although you may have your own solution to a situation like this. I quickly stumbled to the kitchen to fetch said mason jar and brought it back. Gosh, that poor mouse. He was a goner. As I tried to get closer, Fizzgig let out a very low growl. “Don’t you come near my feast!” Was his warning.

The rest of these details don’t matter. I managed to safely scoop up the mouse while distracting The Fizz. I shooed him off the bed, quickly stripped it, put new blankets on and went back to bed, pretty relieved it was all over.

I thought it was anyway.

Fizzgig was restless for the remainder of the evening. While I thought it was because he lost his trophy, the next morning after breakfast when he takes his mid-morning nap, I saw he couldn’t get comfortable on the bed. No matter where he was, he was unhappy.

The issue at hand was I stripped the bed of his favorite pink, fuzzy blanket. He loves to sleep on this thing even during the summer when it’s too hot to consider blankets on the bed. He loves it.

I’m sorry to say he had a few more restless nights until I could get them washed. Once I did, he found himself in cozy heaven again. They are now reunited. I have a happy cat. Also a happy landlord since the mouse is gone.

OTHER BUSINESS

I think that about covers it. There’s more of course. But I’ve got other business to attend to, such as chilling with the fam and maybe taking a nap on the train. Be sure to follow me on other platforms for more day to day interactions and adventures on BlueSky, SubStack, and Lemon8. I don’t know how much I love Lemon8, but I’m really digging BlueSky and SubStack. SubStack is for the every day stuff plus long form things like this and BlueSky is like Twitter (or X) only way nicer. I’m still fussing with Patreon. I really want to go back but also don’t know if others are willing to commit just yet. I want to do research on the world of dogs and their uses outside of just me walking them, for example Riot Dogs or XL Bullies being banned in the UK. More political things. Don’t get me wrong, talking about dog walking and our relationships are great fun and I think a perspective many people don’t consider, but hell even I never heard of Riot Dogs.

I wish you a wonderful rest of December and an amazing holiday, whatever it is you do or do not celebrate. It’s all fine. Most of all, I wish you rest and ease with anything you could ever want or need.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your support. This is Puppies Gotta Pee signing off for the holiday.